Fear of failure stops so many people from even trying something new... we're so caught up in trying to fit in, avoiding looking silly, that we miss the most precious parts of our lives.
As a free spirit in the new consciousness, there's so many new experiences and new ways to be that it can be overwhelming. On top of that, because a majority of people are still in the old paradigm - you're predominantly surrounded by people still based in duality.
So it's challenging to take on new ideas when surrounded by so many that either flat out don't believe them, or perhaps don't even know about them.
So, after the initial euphoria that follows having any kind of new idea or learning some new information that feels like finally you've found your true path, that sneaky little finger of fear creeps in and before you know it fear of failure strikes again.
'what if it doesn't work...’
'it sounds too good to be true...'
'I don't think I can do it...'
’I’ll look so stupid if this doesn’t work...'
.... and so on.
I know this because it’s happened to me.
I've been stopped by fear of failure many times. Many times my logical brain has taken over and I've not even realised that I'm worried about failing. It's said to me - huh... you don't really want to do that anyway - why don't you do this instead... directing me away from new, exciting, but scary adventures.
Have you ever felt like that? You may have experienced it in the form of it's best friend procrastination. You know, where you just keep on putting off doing whatever you're scared of under the guise of 'too busy' or 'not in the mood' or 'I'll do it tomorrow'.
On top of sabotaging you, this also drains your energy – even if you don’t realise it. Think about how many times have you finally done something you’ve been putting off for ages and felt so energetic afterwards. Only then do you realise the high cost of NOT doing something out of fear.
Failure is part of life - One of the first things that got me unstuck around the fear of failure, was when I realised, it's just part of life - I'm going to fail sometimes, and if I don't get into action because I'm scared to fail, I will NEVER achieve anything! It's far better to take the chance of experiencing failure than to sit and do nothing paralysed by indecision and fear...
Failure always carries a gift - After experiencing quite a few failures in my time… I learned something that I am forever grateful for… I learned to find the gift in failure, or the silver lining in every dark cloud.
It's so liberating because although you still have to experience the unwanted situation, you actually gain by finding something of value within it.
It can be in the form of a realisation of how to do something better, or that maybe the intended outcome isn't actually what you want anyway (hindsight is a wonderful thing!). Many times when I failed it also left room for something MUCH better to manifest instead.
Failure is always temporary - Just look at past failures... did you sit in failure for ever? No of course not. It's always temporary.
So if any of this resonates with you, you may want to take another look at those things that you classify as 'failures' in your life, because there is always a gift in there somewhere – a lesson learned, an understanding formed or the knowledge on how to do it successfully.
The difference between allowing yourself to live life your way, and staying on the same old track is how you deal with failure.
I mean, so many people get so inspired and ready to take on the world in an attempt to achieve their ‘dreams’... but when it doesn’t work out first time round they give up! And that's where it ends.
There is never any thought put into why it happened, or what could possibly be gained from the situation.
Being able to find the gift in failure is not something we've been taught to do. Let's face it, in our formative years, especially at school, we were punished for making mistakes. It's no wonder that we strive to avoid them at all costs!
And if we do try something and (heaven forbid) fail... we try to brush it under the carpet before too many people notice.
Most people don't think of failure as positive in any way.
I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
~ Michael Jordan ~
But if you look at almost any successful person – they pretty much failed their way to success! I mean most millionaires and billionaires have been bankrupt or very close to it at least once, usually many times.
Most well known, highly paid performers (singers and actors) were scratching around in obscurity for years before they rose to fame.. There is NO such thing as overnight success.
All those stories are just romanticized versions of what really happened, which is usually lots of hard work, rejection after rejection and failure after failure… and eventually BOOM!….. overnight success!
Walt Disney was told he had no imagination and later, that a mouse would never work...
Oprah Winfrey was fired from her job as a TV anchor, told she was ‘unfit for TV’
Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school.. 3 times!
The Beatles were told ‘guitar music is on the way out’ at the beginning of their band’s career
Stephen King’s first book ‘Carrie’ was rejected 30 times, luckily he submitted it 31 times at the urging of his wife.
Elvis Presley got fired after his first performance and was told ‘you’re going nowhere son. You ought to go back to driving a truck’
But did this stop any of these people? No, they’re all household names now. They have (or had) success following their dreams, despite the negative outlook of others.
The bottom line is, if you let fear of failure stop you it will kill your dreams, and the paradox is, failure (if it does happen) may actually be your stepping stone to success. So you must find a way to move past it.
Recognise that everyone is going to fail sometimes – it’s an unavoidable part of life. Being scared of failure is going to be a big problem if you want to achieve anything in life outside of what you’ve achieved so far. And think about this - it may not even happen!
Be safe in the knowledge that there is always a gift in failure somewhere – a lesson learned, an understanding formed or the knowledge on how to do it successfully
Every day you should surround yourself with proof that anything is possible (because it is!). Whether it's books, people, films, environment, it doesn't matter, be in or around that as much as possible. Your mind is your most valuable asset if you want to move past fear.
Trust yourself – what I mean by this is don’t second-guess your ideas. We're all so concerned with getting it right all the time. You don’t need to be perfect, but you do need to move forward. You will get better as you go.
Let go of trying to control everything. You may wonder how this will help you move past fear. If you stop trying to make things happen in a certain way, you are fighting an uphill battle. Let go of that, and instead trust your intuition and step into inspired action as it comes up for you. This actually bypasses fear. When you feel inspired, you are in a different vibration and fear just doesn't come into it.
You don't have to know how to do it first. You just need to take that first step and 'the way' will unfold for you. And also remember, you don’t need to do it perfectly… just start and you will begin to move forward, learning as you go.
Recently I was reading an article that invited people to share their biggest regrets from a financial standpoint. A large percentage of the respondents shared that it was when they had a really strong urge to do something, but were scared and then listened to the advice of someone else and went against their own judgement.
In all these cases, hindsight showed that they should have followed their gut instinct… but what got in the way? You got it… Fear of failure. They were fearful it wouldn't work out .. and so they didn’t even try.
Imagine if they had tried.. and even if they failed, it may have led to learning something that gave them massive success next time round...
Bonnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse, wrote an article and then a book on The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying. She says ‘When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again’.
Number one on the list was ’I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me’.
Bonnie says ‘This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made’.
You can read the full article here.
The bottom line is, fear of failure is a dream stealer – if it's stopping you and you do nothing about it you will end up regretting the things that you didn’t do, far more than the mistakes you made along the way. Don't let that happen to you...
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