Advice on how to manifest desires is big right now – and being a free spirit we are no strangers to creating new adventures and opportunities without really thinking about it.
But with all the advice out there it’s natural to start doubting yourself and how you’ve done it up until now.
There are steps and rituals and whole courses around how to get what you want. The wrong things to do and the right things to do. Endless articles about why it doesn’t work for you and what to do so it does.
And we’ve all fallen into the trap of comparing our lives with others, thinking they have it better, and therefore must know some magic trick we haven’t discovered yet.
But there’s something that maybe you haven’t put into the equation yet - I certainly didn't for quite a long time.
You see I’m no exception. I’ve practised the ‘steps’ I’ve been given… and I’ve had success and I’ve had failures. But then it dawned on me that I was a free spirit. I wasn’t built to follow everyone else's rules (in fact nobody is really - but as a free spirit you understand that better than most).
And as a free spirit, I had been manifesting magnificently without any guidance.
It was so much a part of who I was, it was intuitive. I didn't need to change anything.
But like many others, when I read about all these ideas of the 'right' way to do it, I ended up trying to do it that way too. But there were three aspects that I always struggled with, that I just couldn’t seem to get ‘right', that I felt I had to manufacture somehow.
And I know I'm not alone. As a free spirit I'm sure they've tripped you up too.
I realised after some time that these three elements were causing me doubt, and were coming from a place of force and struggle, instead of flow:
I know this is not a widely held view - but let me explain why I believe this - at least for me, and I'm thinking I'm not unique in this regard.
I don’t believe you need to believe.
The truth is – so many people give up on their dreams because they didn’t have the belief they would manifest – and that’s a damn shame.
How do I know this? Because I was one of them. I tried to force myself to believe in my ability to achieve huge dreams – and when I couldn’t, I doubted myself, anguished over why I was missing this vital element and at that point I sometimes gave up because I thought one of the key ingredients was missing.
But really – what is that all about? It’s simply another way of trying to manipulate and force things. That's not how creation works - we know that - it's all about being in the flow and allowing
If your dream is to have a business that has an annual turnover of $1 million, or you’re searching for the perfect partner after 3 disastrous relationships in a row – really – how much belief is it likely you will have when you first set out to achieve those things?
Of course, there are always the outliers – those who have this strong belief in what others think is impossible – but if you asked them – did you wholeheartedly believe you could achieve this before you did? Most would say 'Hell no!!'
But what they did know is that what they wanted was a potential in the infinite field of possibilities. That if they wanted it, there must be a way for them to have it too.
They simply believed in the possibility. And so can you.
So next time you feel a lack of belief in your ability to manifest desires you have, don't worry about it. Just take the next step forward and see what happens.
That's the free spirited way - you're an adventurer, a risk-taker, you don't need to know how it will all turn out, you just need to follow your heart.
It's not that I think this is necessarily 'wrong', but just that it has been misunderstood.
When we’re younger we do tend to be highly emotive about a lot of things – and what you think you REALLY want is one of them. So it’s quite easy to feel this strong desire – I Must Have It.
But what I’ve noticed is that as we get older, this dissipates a little.
We’ve been around long enough to know that sometimes the things we thought we really wanted, that we would walk over hot coals for, actually weren’t that great after all.
And with that comes an understanding that something may seem like a grand idea, but it may not quite pan out to be what we think it will. That strong driving passion is tempered somewhat.
According to all the personal development guru's, strong desire is needed before you can achieve anything - in fact a 'burning desire' according to Napoleon Hill.
But here’s the thing. Maybe that desire is not what we have been led to believe it is.
Maybe it’s not an overwhelming fixation – maybe it’s just that little spark that refuses to die. A spark that says: I know this is taking longer than I thought, and I know at times it seems like an impossible dream, but something inside me just won’t allow me to give up.
Maybe it’s just carrying on until…
Or that realisation if you do give up, that actually, you can’t because this dream, this idea you have is now part of you… that each day, just knowing that in some small way you’re moving closer to it’s manifestation, is something you just cannot give up on.
Maybe that’s what desire is. I think it is. It’s a heartfelt yearning, that sometimes does burn brightly, but mostly it just hums along in your heart.
I’ve shared before about how I have the desire to have my own laptop lifestyle business. I tried different ways of doing that and many of them crashed and burned. I’ve gone through some difficult times where I almost gave up – in fact I thought I had. But it turned out I couldn’t.
And then there were times when it was a brighter flame; when I refused to sell my soul to get a good, steady income from a job I didn’t want, even though my business wasn't creating money as abundantly as I would have liked.
It would have been much easier to do that and then distract myself with overseas trips and new shoes.
But there’s this little flame in my heart that I have something to share, which shifts in intensity, but it’s always there. There’s an unexplainable feeling that I want to do this, and I will continue to do this, whatever the outcome is.
I don’t feel wildly excited at the prospect (except when I do), I don’t have this overwhelming emotion around manifesting this – but I just know, in each moment, that I would rather be creating this in my life than anything else I can think of right now, and so I continue… and I’m not giving up.
So desire is not something that you 'get', because really, its either there or it’s not. Its not something you can manufacture… and making it a ‘to do’ on the list of how to manifest will actually smother the REAL emotion behind that; which is love.
It’s not a raging adolescent love, it’s a quiet insistent voice that you can drown out for a while if you like, you can distract yourself, or numb yourself out, but it will always be there in those moments of complete honesty.
That’s desire – and it’s not a ‘step’ or a ‘thing’ you need to DO, it either is or it isn’t.
And if it is - follow it, and see where it leads you...
I’ve also talked about visualizing before – at first, I was a True Believer. I was wholeheartedly sold on the idea that you should sit for 30 minutes a day and see in your mind’s eye the object of your desire - how it looks, how it feels and every little nuance in great detail.
But boy did I struggle with that one.
It’s almost as if as soon as I said 'OK Mind – now we’re going to see this thing in all its glory so it can turn up in my life…' that my Mind said – 'Yeah, whatever… what are we having for supper?'
And then, if I persisted, my Mind would say – well – is this what it looks like, or should it rather look like this, or maybe this? Oh boy – it was hard.
Even a simple visualisation of the house I wanted to live in got SO complicated because there are so many possibilities.
And then my Heart would get involved in the conversation too, saying to Mind – 'But what about this… it would be so cool! Or this, I would LOVE that, or maybe this other thing instead… or what about all of them?!! And on it went...
Visualizing became like a tussle of wills and I just could not really get the hang of it. But guess what – things I wanted still manifested.
And guess what too? By doing what I do naturally (I've always been a daydreamer) I found myself easily imagining the outcome of what I wanted, not in minute detail and not always the same picture – but the same feeling.
And after many years of this I started to form an understanding.
For me visualising is difficult for whatever reason, but my heart knows how it wants to feel… what makes it happy and it could be many different variations on a theme.
And so I realised – if I feel this way – and I focus on that feeling, then the perfect outcome that allows me to feel that way will manifest without me having to be so precise.
And so I struck ‘have to visualise’ off the to do list, and just did what felt good and right to me – and guess what ? I’m the manifesting queen now. Seriously!
So, here are the elements that I find come into play when I manifest anything. They're not steps, you don't have to do them, they're just part of my process:
There is more I could share with you about how to manifest desires, about how being a free spirit can mess with the rules that other people can follow successfully – but we’re out of time and I’m so impressed that you’ve even read this far – so I’ll keep that thought for another day.
In the meantime – if this resonated with you, if you feel that perhaps your life should have turned out a different way. If you’re, like me; past the age where being a free spirit is some romantic ideal but you cannot shift that yearning to live life on your terms – maybe you’d like to hear more from me. Then just subscribe below for my free e-course, and you’ll also hear from me when new thoughts occur to me…